Tag: disability

My Pelvis Pain

Hello and welcome to today’s edition of Nic is in Pain and Feeling Very Sorry for Herself.

Again.

It case he title of this post didn’t give it away, the culprit this time is my pelvis. This is kinda unusual for me. My pelvis is not one of the body parts/ muscles that like to give a hard time, so I don’t really know what to do about it.

The pain kept me awake almost every night this week and I think it did keep me away from sleep every night last week. Getting comfortable is just impossible, and I’ve reached the point now where I’m tempted to give up on trying to sleep at night all together.

I think I’d rather just nap during the day when I’m tired enough to rather than try and force myself to stay awake all day and not be able to drop off at bed time, y’know?

Sleepless nights are unpleasant, but bad cerebral palsy nights where I’m in pain and everyone is the house is sleeping are just so freaking lonely.

I don’t usually cry over physical pain, but I’ve come close this last fortnight or so. I don’t know how many more bad CP nights I can take.

How are you all doing?

Having a cold never felt so good

If the title of this post didn’t already tip you off, I have a cold. An unquenchable thirst-inducing, all over body aching kind of cold, and, I swear; it’s never felt so good.

I know, I know, you’re probably sitting there staring at the screen wondering what the heck I’m going on about, but here me out.

Continue reading “Having a cold never felt so good” →

What 4 years of blogging has taught me about my disability

As cliché as it sounds, it doesn’t seem like two minutes have passed since I hit publish on my very first post, inviting you all to share my journey as a young woman with with cerebral palsy living in the UK. Yet, here I am still typing away, only the year on my laptop is telling me it’s 2017 now.

I might not have been around as much lately while I try look after my mental health, but View from a Walking Frame is always at the forefront of my mind. Not only has this tiny part of the internet helped to give me something to talk about at job interviews as I still try to find full-time employment, it’s been my lifeline. Perhaps the most important thing, though, is that it’s taught me a lot about my own disability. And today, I thought I’d share those things with you:

 

I need to learn to let go

One of the toughest journeys I’ve been on with this blog is learning to let go of so many things. Back when this blog started, I used to shy away from talking about my bad CP days. I thought everyone reading would think I was being an ungrateful whimp. I thought you’d only want to read about the good days.

I was wrong. You are all so kind and supportive and understanding.  You are all kinder to me and more supportive of me than I have ever been to myself. I’m learning so much from all of you.

Which leads me onto…

I need to stop worrying about what other people think

My bad CP days are mine, and even though I can try and explain how they make me feel, only I know the truth. I should be allowed say I’m hurting and not worry about being judged.

My mental health is just as important as my physical health

Honestly, opening up about my mental health as well as my cerebral palsy on this blog has been one of the best things I’ve ever done. You’ve all helped to make this blog a place where I feel I can be honest, so thank you.

When I started View from a Walking Frame it was purely about disability. It is about so much more than that now. I never realised or paid attention to the emotional impact of a bad cerebral palsy day until I started talking about it on here. I guess I didn’t really think it was important, but it is. I’m learning more and more about how my disability impacts on my life every day, and I have blogging to thank for that.

Naps are good. Rest days are good. It is important.

You guys have all helped me realise that needing a rest day is perfectly normal and I don’t have to fight against my body every second of every day. In fact, I might catch some Zs after I’ve written this post. #Sorrynotsorry

Again, thank you all so much for your support. I hope my blog helps some of you even a tiny bit more than it helps me. If it does, then it’s all worth it.

So, who’s up for another four years? I’m game if you are!

Love,

Nic xx

 

 

Feeling sorry for myself

Yup, today has been all about me throwing myself a massive pity party. I know I shouldn’t but I am, and even though the only thing I hate more than feeling like this is admitting to anyone that I’m feeling like this, I’m going to tell you about it anyway. There’s no point in me writing a blog about my life with cerebral palsy if I’m not going to be open and honest about the rubbish bits, is there?

It started as just a bad mood. Well, less of a bad mood and more of a difficult depression kind of day – I can tell the difference, because, on difficult depression days, the thought of getting dressed makes me want to cry. Today was one of those. Nonetheless, I managed to pull on some jeans and an over-sized jumper and go pick up my new glasses.

Then my old friend, Mystery Hip Pain kicked in. And it kicked in hard. I’ve had pins and needles in my hip almost constantly from then on and sitting still is hard because getting comfy is pretty much impossible.

If this carries on for more than a couple of days I know that the best thing to do will be to ask to go back to my acupuncturist. She’s amazing at getting the pain to go away again, but I’m always aware of the fact that it’s only about two months since I was last discharged for her service and I’ll feel like I’m being greedy and having more than my fair share of appointments. I know that this shouldn’t even enter my head, but it’s hard not to think about in when everywhere you turn people are talking about how strained the NHS is.

And now I have backache too. Pfft.

A self-enforced rest day

So today I’m doing something that I probably would never have done two years ago and am taking a self-enforced rest day. Spoiler alert: I have not been enjoying it. I feel like this is something I should enjoy. What am I doing wrong?

As much as I’m annoyed at myself for not enjoying something that I know most people would think I’m privileged to be able to have the time to do, but I am proud of myself for letting go of my stubborn streak for a bit.

Basically, I’ve been doing a lot more physical activity lately, probably levels of the stuff that I haven’t done since uni. It’s making me feel better about myself but I’ll admit that I could tell I was close to burning out. I have commitments coming up over the next few days so I thought I’d rest up today while I had the chance.

Maybe I’m starting to learn to listen to body? I won’t hold my breath but I did the right thing today.