November is getting crazy!

Yes, I am we’re still only in October (just) but November is already shaping up to be a pretty mental month here in Nicland.

I already have three appointments scheduled, two are CP-related and one isn’t.

I’ll be heading to the dentist for my regular check-up, which should hopefully only be one session, as well as going to the orthotics department to get news shoes fitted for my calipers, and having another round of Botox in my legs to help relax the muscles.

But that’s not all that I have going on.

November is also National Novel Writing Month, a project that challenges people all around the world to write 50,000 words in 30 days. That might not sound like a lot of work to some of you, but when you’re trying to balance that with everything else going on it your life, time can pass by without you even noticing.

If you want to know more about  how I get on, I’ll (hopefully) be doing weekly videos on my YouTube channel again. Either way, it will be nice to get some more positive content going up on this blog in the next few weeks.

Let the fun begin!

A Raven’s Touch by Linda Bloodworth Cover Re-Reveal

So, some of you may remember me telling you that my blogging friend and fellow writer Linda Bloodworth had self-published her novel A Raven’s Touch at (I think) the end of last year, but Linda will correct me if I’m wrong. I’ve followed Linda’s writing journey since I started by own blog three years ago, and so, of course, when the book came out I couldn’t wait to read it. (if you’re interested, you can find my review here).

Linda recently had a new cover created for the book, and originally asked me if I wanted to help with the cover re-reveal, but, TLDR, life got in the way. However, because I loved the book so much I still want to share the new cover with you, along with some info on the book and the author herself in the hope that you’ll enjoy it as much as I did.

Without further adieu feast your eyes on the newly updated cover for A Raven’s Touch.

A Raven's Touch by Linda Bloodworth

The cover was created by Amanda Walker. Feel free to ask her questions about her pre-made covers. Linda says she is fantastic to work with, honest, and super friendly. She also offers PA services, so do check her out.

BLURB:
Bullied through high school, seventeen-year-old Justice St. Michaels is grateful for the help of her best friend Moira O’Fhey. Together they’re just managing to scrape through the nightmare they call high school. Between Justice’s bizarre body changes and being involved in explosive school fights, things are going from bad to worse. Darien Raventhorn arrives on the scene only to add fuel to an already burning question—has Justice been living a lie her whole life? Thrust into an unwanted revenge mission Justice must avenge a family death, embrace her birthright, and slay a demon before all Hell breaks loose.

BIO:
Linda Bloodworth loves chips, like really, ketchup to be exact. Ketchup chips are only found in Canada. Lucky for Linda she lives in Toronto with her husband and three fur babies. In between writing, debating for hours about the Oxford comma, and the misunderstood semi colon, Linda enjoys camping and getting away from the city on day trips.

Here’s the only picture that Linda will allow:
linda-hair

How do I get my hands on this book!?
Right here >>> https://books.pronoun.com/a-ravens-touch/

I’m so proud of Linda for getting her book out there into the world, and I’m super excited that she’s started working on the sequel!

Vlog: Haircuts and mental

Okay, so I uploaded this video on my YouTube channel a little while ago and just haven’t had the time to post it here. It’s about the hair cut I’ve just had, and how it’s it’s helped cheer me up during my mental health dip. Anyway, if you haven’t seen it then here it is:

 

If you have no idea what I’m talking about when I say that I’m going through another mental health dip, then the video that I made prior to this one will explain:

Anyway, on a lighter note, I have some much happier updates coming over the next couple of days, so stay tuned for  those. It’s not all bad around here

Being Honest with Myself About My Mental Health – again

Okay, I need to confess a few things.  Mental health things.

If you’ve been hanging around this blog or my YouTube channel for a while, you know I have problems with anxiety, my ‘mood’ (doctors don’t seem to like using the word ‘depression’ these days, it seems) and what I like to call OCD-type tendencies. By this I mean that I wash my hands a lot, change my clothes a lot, worry constantly about germs and sometimes, I even babywipe my clothes WHILE I’M STILL WEARING THEM.

I’ve had therapy on and off for a lot of my life, and have been on pills for a couple of years now. Things were okay for a while. I was almost considering coming off said pills, and then things went downhill. Of course, I should have done something about this as soon as I started slipping but I didn’t.

I tried my best to ignore it, not wanting to admit that I was ‘back here again’ as I describe it to people, but as I stood in the bathroom a couple of weeks ago, wet-wipping my jeans so that I wouldn’t get bathroom germs around the rest of the house, I knew I had to do something. It hit me that I couldn’t remember the last time I hadn’t felt like an emotional wreck, couldn’t remember the last time I felt like something wasn’t a bit broken in my brain, and couldn’t remember the last time I’d woken up feeling content.

I told myself that I’d sleep more because that would make everything better, only it turned out that the more I slept the more of a failure I felt, then the more of a failure I felt, the harder it got to get out of bed, and the more the thought of having to change out of my PJs and into ‘real clothes’ to face the ‘real world’ filled me with dread.

One day I just sent my mum a text while she was at work. I hadn’t been planning on it and felt guilty, but she told me to go to the doctor too. As much as I didn’t want to, I forced myself to do it. He’s doubled my dosage of my pills and is sending me back for CBT.

As much as I hate that I’m ‘back here again’, I need to admit it, and get on with trying to overcome this.

 

Life Update September 2016

Oh my gosh I’m not gonna lie, I actually have no idea where to start with this post. There has been so much going on lately. I think I’m just going to break everything down into sections, or as best as you can with a life update anyway, and hope that it makes sense.

Cerebral Palsy Stuff

This is the most obvious place for me to start, but it’s probably the hardest.

I’ve been having a pretty bad CP month to be honest. I tried to do what I said I was going to do in my last blog and exercise more to try make myself feel better. I feel like it made things worse and didn’t really help with my aches and pains. Things have been a bit better over the last couple of days even though I’m full of cold. I’m hoping I can take this as a good sign because being ill usually makes bad CP days seem even worse. I’ve decided that I’m not going to push things too hard until I’m better, and then I’ll just have to see what happens.

Writing Stuff

Writing and editing is still happening. Even though I’m working on a massive edit of one of my novel projects I’m still trying to write long form here and there too. The editing is taking up lots of time and energy, but hopefully it will be worth it in the end.

I’ve recently got into watching slam poetry videos on YouTube, and I’ve decided that it might be nice to try enter one myself next year. I’ve not written slam poetry before, but I’ve been practicing and I’m enjoying it. Hopefully, I’ll write something I like enough to post on YouTube soon.

YouTube Stuff

I haven’t uploaded on YT in a while, but I have been going back through my old videos and starting to add subtitles. It’s going to take ages, to get through them all, but I will do eventually.

I think that’s it for now, how’s everything with you guys?

I just couldn’t go any faster

Yesterday was weird. It was weird for so many reasons, but rather than go into all the reasons why here I’m just going to talk about it from a cerebral palsy point of view. And yes, I am aware that the idea of having a ‘weird’ CP day, (as opposed to, ya’know, a bad one), is a pretty weird thing in itself.

Annnnywaaay,

Long story short yesterday involved quite a bit more walking than I’ve probably had to do in a while. I don’t feel like I’ve done anywhere near enough of the stuff lately, which is a whole other blog post in itself.

In truth, it was nowhere the most walking I’ve done in a day, and it didn’t even make me that tired (score!) but at the end of the end I wanted to walk quickly to so that I could catch my bus without having to wait a whole hour for the next one.

Well, I tried to up my pace, but I just couldn’t.

I felt like I was doing all the right things to speed up, but my legs just would not go any faster no matter what I did. Now, don’t get me wrong, moving fast under any circumstances other than a spider landing on my head just doesn’t happen when you’re me. I know that I walk really slowly compared to the average able-bodied person, but I can push myself to go a bit beyond my natural pace when I want to.

Yes, I had done a lot of walking, but I hadn’t pushed myself that hard. I’d taken it slowly, on purpose. I felt tired in a way that I could do with a nap, but not in a my-legs-might-just-be-about to drop off way.

I’m not sure what was going on. Have any of you felt anything like this before? I don’t know if it’s because my fitness levels have dropped, or because my bag was really, really heavy. Maybe it’s just because I’m getting older. I just don’t know. I’m trying not to worry about this too much. If anything, I need to use it as motivation to get more exercise.

On a more light-hearted note, I made a video the other day at 5am when I couldn’t sleep. Some of you might enjoy it as it’s about writing, some of you might not. Either way, I’ll leave it here it case you want to watch it:

 

Thanks for listening,

Nic xx