NHS Appointment-related guilt

Yesterday I uploaded this cerebral palsy update video on my YouTube channel. In it I talked about how I’d fallen over onto my hip that always had The Mystery Hip Pain (TMHP). TMHP had gone after some acupuncture appointments, but now it’s back and  I’m faced with a dilemma – do I ask for more acupuncture?

It might sound like a no-brainer. It seems like the obvious thing to do, doesn’t it? Let’s nip it in the bud now and then we can all move on. I know that it makes perfect sense. I just feel so guilty about it.

It’s only been a couple of months since I was actually discharged. And yes, I know my acupuncturist told me to ask for a referral before things got really bad, but it’s just so soon after the last lot. If I go back now I’ll feel like I’m being greedy and taking more than my fair share of appointments – especially as I get them on the NHS.

But then I know that they’ll be a waiting list and God knows how long my name will be on that  before I actually find myself back at the hospital getting needles stuck in me again. It could be weeks or it could be months. Who knows what  TMHP will be like by then?

The problem is that I know I’ll feel psychologically a lot better about it if I hag on another month, even if that might make me feel physically worse. I know what I should do, but I also know what I wanted to do, too.

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