Between bad CP nights and a flare up in my anxiety I’ve been having a lot of sleepness nights.
It’s not all bad though. Yes, it’s annoying sleeping late into the morning instead, but I’ve noticed there are a few positive things to come out of it.
1. I’m reading loads
2. I’m listening to a lot of music and adding more stuff to my writing playlist
3. I usually get writing ideas as I’m trying to go to sleep.
4. I tend to do physio when I’m having a bad cerebral palsy night or just struggling to sleep
I’ll admit that when I started writing this post I thought there were a lot more of them than I’ve listed here, but they all count.
I just wanted to write a thank you post to all of you for your lovely comments and messages of support on my last post, and on the YouTube video I’d made along the same lines about a week before.
I’ll admit that when I wrote my last post I was feeling really quite down and I did it mostly because I wanted to feel like I was doing something productive, even though I actually spent all of that day in my PJs, drifting in and out of sleep and watching anime. I wasn’t even going to post it, but my boyfriend said he thought I should. I’m really glad he encouraged me to do that.
Continue reading “Thank you so much”
I’m not going to lie, right now it’s starting to feel like I’m never going to be able to catch up on sleep after Christmas and New Year. It feels like the more I snooze, the more tired I get.
I’ve been going to bed earlier and earlier but it doesn’t seem to be helping.
It’s stressing me out and making me grouchy.
Please tell me I’m not the only one still feeling like this?
I’m taking a break from Fun Fact Friday to bring you what I hope you’ll agree is some good news…
I finally had a good CP day yesterday! It feels like it’s been so long since I’ve been able to say that. Oh god, it’s such a relief.
So, yesterday was relatively pain-free once I managed to use a wheat bag to get rid of the neck ache I woke up with at about eight o’clock in the morning.
Well Nic, I hear you ask, what did you do with your day? Did you take advantage of it?
Why yes, I did. I slept. I slept so hard to catch up on all the sleep I missed out on. And I’m not sorry. Not even one little bit
I rolled over and then when I looked at the clock again it was after 11. Then I got up, did some writing, had a nap, then met a friend in the evening and then came home and went back to bed.
Overall, I’d say I spent more time asleep yesterday than awake, and it felt amazing. I feel so much better. When I have three or four bad CP nights in a row I do start to wonder if I’ll ever get a good night’s sleep again, if I’m honest.
But I did.
What can I say? #sorrynotsorry
Is it possible to be too tired to actually sleep? It felt that way last night.
I’m not entirely sure how much sleep I got in the end, but I know I was still awake at midnight, got up several times in the night, and have been working on writing projects since about 6am. (it’s currently 7am as I type this).
University-student Nic was fine with this amount of shut-eye, but 2015 Nic who graduated three years ago is not. 2015 Nic catches Zs wherever possible and has even been known to wake up from 12 hours of sleep and have to fight the urge to not slip back to Dreamland.
I wouldn’t mind so much if I hadn’t had a bad night’s sleep on Saturday and spent all of yesterday counting down the minutes till bed time.
Nontheless as soon as my head met my pillow my brain fired into action and I was still up for hours.
I don’t actually need to be awake right now. I have time to grab a couple more hours rest. I’m tired and I’ve been awake for ages. It should be easy but I’m so tired that I’m getting mad at myself for not being able to sleep.
I’m too tired for this…
It’s 12.15am on Saturday morning and I am trying to sleep. It should be easy, I’ve been tired for hours but I just can’t get comfortable.
Continue reading “Settling down for the night”
I often find my anxiety is worse at night. It often kicks in just as I’m about to go to sleep.
Take now for example. It’s about 12.30am on Sunday morning and I spent most of Saturday wandering around in a fog of tiredness with the worst neck ache I’ve had for a long time . I’ve spent most of the day counting down the minutes to bed time. Sleep should be easy but it won’t be.
The second I crawled under the duvet my brain started buzzing with anxious thoughts about all sorts of things like what I’m going to post on here this week, the videos I need to edit and the fact I haven’t done any writing for a while.
Then of course I got anxious about the fact that I’m too anxious to sleep.
Continue reading “A ball of anxiety”