Today is the first day in a long time I’ve had a decent chunk to time to work on that pesky little work-in-progress novel I’ve been chipping away at for about…five years (maybe). I should be doing that, but I’m procrastinating, so I’m working on this post instead.
I actually opened the file long enough to delete the final two thirds of it a couple of weeks back. I’ve wanted to do that for a long, long time. I was just putting it off because my first draft was complete, but then I realised there’s no point hanging onto a complete draft you don’t like it any more. That, and I like to think I could write it so much better if I start from scratch.
It’s such a big task that I’m actually a bit scared to start it, partly I guess because I don’t actually know where to start.
I’m fairly happy with the opening third (for now) so that’s staying as it is. I still know what I want it to end, I just want the rest of the the stuff in the middle to change.
If any of you have any motivation tips, or just want to keep nudging me to actually try and finish the thing so that I can maybe try and get it out into the world one day, I’d appreciate it.
Well the first week of 2018 was definitely eventful for me. I had my birthday, three freelance work deadlines, two full days of volunteering, and I even bothered to put my makeup on at least three times. And I managed to survive on that on less sleep than I would’ve like, and without getting so anxious that I turned into a puff of smoke.
I’m so proud of myself. It might not sound like a big deal, but I haven’t been this busy in a long time, and I’d started to become afraid that I might not be able to handle it any more. Turns out I can. Cool.
Over the years I’ve learned the hard way that setting myself too many long-term goals at once isn’t great. I have a habit of turning them into sticks to beat myself with. As much as I’m working hard to not do that, but I find it’s better not to take chances. That said, I’m (so far) still feeling pretty positive about everything to I do have a couple of things I want to try achieve this year:
Make more content
Believe it or not, there was once time when I used to update this blog every Monday, Wednesday and Friday and my YouTube channel every Sunday, and I loved it. That was before my mental health took the biggest nose-dive it has ever taken and I could hardly bring myself to get out of bed, let alone do anything else.
I’m not sure if going to commit to that schedule again straightaway, but I’m hoping for at least two blog posts a week and two YouTube videos a month. We’ll see.
Complete a second draft of my YA eating disorders novel
I have way too many novels on the go. I think around three or four, but the one I’m furthest along with is a YA novel about teenagers with eating disorders. I’ve even had feedback on it from an editor.
I say here that I want to finish a second draft, but I’ve actually redrafted the first third of it too many times to count. By the end of the year, I want to have actually re-drafted it all the way to the end so I can send it back to my editor.
Wish me luck!
I feel a bit guilty because today’s blog post isn’t really disability-related. I guess it’s going to be one of those general life update-y thingys where I end up telling you all what’s going on in Nicland and probably asking for advice.
These last couple of months have been mega busy, and busy is great. I’m the kind of person who measures whether I’ve had a good or bad day by just how much or how little I’m managed to get done. Not to blow my own trumpet, but I think I’m generally quite good at keeping myself motivated because of this.
I mean, believe it or not, I’ve been writing this blog on a pretty regular basis for about 2 and a half years now, and I realised a few weeks ago that I’ve also been regularly uploading YouTube videos for a year too. Throw in the fact that I’m currently taking part in National Novel Writing Month and aiming to write 50,000 words of a novel in the thirty days of November, I should be so happy I have so many things to be getting on with that I should be bouncing.
Yet, I’m not.
These past few days I’ve wanted to stay snuggled up in the warmth of my bed, binge-watching Netflix until I lose all track of time. I don’t feel like I’ve been posting on here and I feel bad about that. Sometimes I really can’t stand the thought of sitting at my desk to work.
Sometimes I work in bed instead, but it’s not a habit I really want to get into.
I think some of it may be down to the changing seasons. It’s getting darker earlier and cold and my pajamas as some of the warmest clothes I own, The fact that the summer weather is giving strong winds, and the snow and ice we’ll probably be be getting soon, is making it harder to go out isn’t helping either.
I’ve barely started my Christmas shopping and i usually like to have it all done by the December rush.
Do you struggle to stay motivated during this time of the year? What do you do?
Well, today I’m feeling really quite positive and motivated, which is nice. I think that it could have something to do the think fact that my room has been recently redecorated, and sometimes I think a change like this can do us all some good.
I’m quite excited because I’ve got a new wardrobe which is lower down that my old one was so that it’s easier for me to get my clothes on and off the rails without almost falling over with the effort, or simply giving up and throwing everything into a pile at the bottom. The latter is what happened far too often.
There’s also a nice, new comfy bed. It’s much bigger than my last one, which will give me even more room to practice being a starfish at night, oh and it will make it easier for my mum to do my physio on it, but I’m far more excited about having more room to sprawl out in if I’m honest. I’m half in love with it already because I went to sleep with a very achy back last night and when I woke up it was as good as gone!
In my spare time, (AKA when I’m not frantically job hunting),I do a lot of fiction writing as well as working on my blog. Usually as I do it I always hope that one day other people will read it and enjoy it, but I never expect that to happen. Today though, as I sit here in the writing cocoon that I have constructed for myself, tapping away and the keyboard and listening to Paramore, I’m starting to feel like maybe at some point they will. Not just yet, but it feels possible. We’ll see.
The extra effort that I’m supposed to be making with physio has actually got off to a pretty good start. I know it’s only been two days since I wrote the post declaring that I was going to try really hard so I shouldn’t get too excited, but it all helps, right? So far I’ve only made a few small changes, but hopefully they will all combine together to have a big impact on me for the better.