Guys, can I be honest with you: I am tired, physically and emotionally. In fact, I am beyond tired and I don’t like it.
Over the last couple of weeks, I’ve been getting a lot more aches and pains that normal, especially for this time of year. These things are usually worse in the winter when it’s cold, but the UK has been having some lovely warm weather lately. When this happens, I try and spend as little time in the house as possible, but not this time. I’ve had no energy what so ever lately. The majority of my days are punctuated with naps, and some times more than one a day.
I want to be in the sunlight, but the thought of moving more than necessary makes me want to weep. I have an errand that I’ve been meaning to run all week, but I just can’t face it. My first thought when I wake up in the morning is “everything aches”. My Cerebral Palsy is on my mind far more than I would like these days. It feels like it’s trying to show me who’s boss, and what’s worse is that, right now, it’s like it’s winning. I want to fight but I just can’t seem to.
This is not like me. I think anyone whose been reading this blog a while could tell you that. I know they’re tonnes of people who are far worse off than me, but I feel like I need to tell you all that it’s getting me down.
Does that make me weak?
Does that make me ungrateful?
Does that make me even weaker?
I keep thinking about booking myself in for a massage or something, but I’ve never been for one before, and part of me doesn’t like the idea of going for one. I’m not entirely sure why this is. Maybe it’s because it will mean that by doing that I have to face up to what’s going on? Maybe it’s because another person will then feel the tightness in my muscles? That’s an unsettling thought.
Do you guys go through phases like this? How do you deal with them?