Getting on my soapbox about why attitudes towards sex and disability need to change. Again.

Yet again I’ve found myself getting on my Twitter soapbox about why attitudes towards disability and sex need to change.

You’re probably all bored of me talking about this by now, but if you’re not, you can head on over to my profile to see the whole thread of tweets I made.  Here’s the first one for you:

Believe it or not, I’m actually sick of talking about this too. I’ve mentioned it on this blog and I’ve even blogged about it for the charity Scope too.  Yes, my mother read it and no, I’m not embarrassed. My dad chose not to read it, but if he had, I still wouldn’t have been embarrassed because why should I be?

Rob and I were together for 10 years and it took me a long time to stop feeling like I was doing something ‘bad’ by having a physical relationship with him .

(Yes, things are rocky right now, but we’re working on them and we’re in a good place. That’s an update for another time. Maybe.)

I spent far too much of my teenage years feeling ashamed, afraid and embarrassed. In fact, I used to wish that I wasn’t attracted to anyone, either sexually or romantically, because of society’s attitudes towards sex and disability. I felt like it was somehow wrong of me because I was always made to sex and relationships weren’t supposed to be for

But I’ll keep talking about it until we manage to end the stigma, because we will. One day.

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Always there

Today is my boyfriend Rob’s birthday. We’ve been together for six years now and he’s always there to help me when I need him.

Some of you may have seen on the blog’s Facebook page last weekend that he woke up early and came all the way from his house to mine so that he could help me meet my friends in town for lunch.

Continue reading “Always there”

The time my wheel fell off

This morning I was sitting there wondering what I was going to post about today when I got an unexpected text from my boyfriend Rob saying “Hey, you should write a blog about that time I was pushing down that hill in your wheelchair and the wheel came off.”

True story.

Yes, I thought to myself. I should, given that I wasn’t hurt so I can actually have a good giggle about it all now. So, if you’re sitting comfortably, I’ll begin.

 

I’d had the wheelchair in question about a year when it happened. When I’d gone to the appointment to pick it up, I’d been told that, unlike my old one, this posh new one had removable footplates and wheels.  Being able to take the footplates off came in handy for getting it in the car, but I didn’t want to mess around with the wheels if I could help it. I thought that might be tempting fate, so for that year, they stayed firmly in place.

Or so I thought.

Rob is a couple of years older than me so he went to university the year before me, so for the first four years of our relationship we did the long-distance thing. During his first year I was still at home finishing up my A Levels and in the school holidays, my dad agreed to drive me to see him for the weekend and that pick me up again. My dad is pretty awesome like that .

I took my wheelchair  with me because I’d never been to the city that he was living in so I didn’t know how big it was, and this all happened about five years ago when I couldn’t walk as well as I can do now. My hard work over the last few years since my surgery really is paying off, but I digress.

We’d gone out into town. We were going down a fairly small hill when I thought this seems steeper than it did yesterday and I feel a bit wobbly. I wanted to make a joke about his driving skills, but we’d only been together a few months at this point so I thought it might not go down too well.

Then I heard the clunk.

“What was that?” we both asked as I started to tip to one side and thewe noticed my wheel starting to roll away.

Oh. Guess that’s what that noise was then.

Thankfully the runaway wheel came to a stop on its own so we didn’t have to worry about losing it. I didn’t fancy having to explain that one to wheelchair services (or my mum and dad) when I got home. However, I was now teetering on one side with Rob, using all the strength to make sure that I didn’t land flat on the pavement.

We were just wondering how we were going to get ourselves out of this one when a passing couple stopped to see if we needed any help. I don’t think they finished asking the question before I said yes please.

So they helped me undo my seatbelt and get myself out of the slightly unstable chair without hurting myself, then helped keep me upright and get the wheel back on and off we all went again, all unharmed,  with a funny story that we could tell all our friends later.

Oh, and in case you’re wondering, Rob’s quite good at pushing the wheelchair really, I just like to wind him up.