Tag: pain

November was indeed crazy!

Hey, remember how I wrote that blog post before November even started saying that it was going to be a crazy month, what with NaNoWriMo going and all my appointments and stuff? Well it turned out to be an even crazier month than I thought, what with NaNoWriMo going on, all my appointments, going to see one of my favouriate authors doing a talk, and my family re-homing a dog from some of our friends who couldn’t give her as much attention as they would have liked any more. Yup, you read that right Little Miss Turns-Into-A-Ball-of-Anxiety-Everytime-a-Dog-Even-Looks-At-Her now shares a home with a dog. And I love her. Well, I never.

Let’s start at the beginning, shall we? My first day of NaNo was awful, and it didn’t get any better. It took me about two days to get what I affectionately call ‘NaNo Neck’ this year. That is what I call it when my neck, back and shoulders all hate me for pending too much time hunched over my laptop, which happens every year sooner or later. My plot was virtually non-exsistant (and still is.) I had several days where I didn’t write anything, but I dragged myself over the finish line with a few hours to spare. Here’s a YouTube video I made about the whole thing, if you’re interested.

 

Needless to say the month was a tough one in terms of my cerebral palsy, what with all the extra pain and the cold (omg the cold) but I did have my botox and they’ve ordered me some new boots to go with my calipers, which I needed as my old ones were getting holes in. Oh, and everything went fine at the dentist, which is always nice. Apparently I don’t have to go for another nine months now instead of six months. Yippee!

So, let’s talk about the dog now. She’s a six year-old shi tuz called Tallulah and at first I was really, really nervous about getting her. I’ve never had a dog before, and don’t know a lot about them, and the ones that I have been around have generally been bouncy or yappy or too playful for me to handle, and then of course there is my whole ‘cats are clean dogs are dirty’ thing that my brain thinks for some reason.

There were a few teething problems so I kept things quiet about her online until we had them a bit more under control in case it turned out that we weren’t the right family for her and she wasn’t the right dog for us. Anyway, things have settled and we’re keeping her, although things still aren’t easy because the poor little thing is undergoing a phantom pregnancy (she’d just had her last season a month of two before we got her) and the poor thing is very sad and confused about why she doesn’t have puppies yet.

So, that was the hectic month that was Novemeber. Hopefully I’ll be back a little more regularly now. How are you guys?

Life Update September 2016

Oh my gosh I’m not gonna lie, I actually have no idea where to start with this post. There has been so much going on lately. I think I’m just going to break everything down into sections, or as best as you can with a life update anyway, and hope that it makes sense.

Cerebral Palsy Stuff

This is the most obvious place for me to start, but it’s probably the hardest.

I’ve been having a pretty bad CP month to be honest. I tried to do what I said I was going to do in my last blog and exercise more to try make myself feel better. I feel like it made things worse and didn’t really help with my aches and pains. Things have been a bit better over the last couple of days even though I’m full of cold. I’m hoping I can take this as a good sign because being ill usually makes bad CP days seem even worse. I’ve decided that I’m not going to push things too hard until I’m better, and then I’ll just have to see what happens.

Writing Stuff

Writing and editing is still happening. Even though I’m working on a massive edit of one of my novel projects I’m still trying to write long form here and there too. The editing is taking up lots of time and energy, but hopefully it will be worth it in the end.

I’ve recently got into watching slam poetry videos on YouTube, and I’ve decided that it might be nice to try enter one myself next year. I’ve not written slam poetry before, but I’ve been practicing and I’m enjoying it. Hopefully, I’ll write something I like enough to post on YouTube soon.

YouTube Stuff

I haven’t uploaded on YT in a while, but I have been going back through my old videos and starting to add subtitles. It’s going to take ages, to get through them all, but I will do eventually.

I think that’s it for now, how’s everything with you guys?

So. Many. Things

I miss this blog. I miss you guys. I miss the days when I updated three times a week. I miss the days when when uploading to my YouTube channel was a weekly thing at least, but there’s just so much going on right now. So many things. I haven’t even had chance to read Harry Potter and the Cursed Child yet!

Annnywaaay, the main bulk of it can be explained I guess by watching this video that I made, which I may or  may not have shared on here, I don’t even remember any more TBH. But yeah, this will probably explain a lot:

 

Work on this project is still ongoing and probably will be for ages. It’s taking up most of my brain power, and what little I have left is spent reading the huge pile of library books that only seems to be growing as more and more of my reservations turn up, and binge-watching Gilmore Girls. Hopefully I’ll be back more regularly soon, but for now, I hope you’ll stick with me.

In terms of how I’m doing Cerebral Palsy wise, I’ll update you all soon, probably by doing a video so that I can keep everyone on YouTube and this blog updated at once. Things have been a bit up and down, I guess. That’s all I’ll say for now. My back is not exactly my best friend at the moment, but some good things have come out of having to deal with a lot of back pain too.  I’ll explain what I mean soon, or hopefully before too long anyway.

I hope you guys are doing okay.

Thanks for being patient

Nic xx

Being Brutally Honest

It’s time for me to write one of those brutally honest posts that I hate so much because there’s no way for me to do them without sounding self-pitying and ungrateful,but sometimes it just needs to be done.

I have lost count of how many bad cerebral palsy days I’m currently having in a row. It feels like I’m always in pain. Sitting down hurts, standing up hurts, moving too much hurts, not moving enough hurts; you get the point.

I am so, so tired, physically and mentally if I’m being honest. If I tell people that I’m having a bad CP day, I think they know that means I’m sore, but they might not know that focusing on anything is hard. I just want to stay in bed and rest, but, like I said, resting too much makes things worse.

My to do list is getting higher and higher and that’s not helping, but I’m rying to only do the things that I actually need to do each day, rather than pushing myself to be super productive. You all know how much I thrive on being productive though.

To be honest, I think I’m feel better if I could cry. I’m a fir believer that sometimes bawling your eyes out for ten minutes can be best medicine, but you can’t force these things.

So, yeah, that’s where I am right now. I hope you’re all keeping well.

NHS Appointment-related guilt

Yesterday I uploaded this cerebral palsy update video on my YouTube channel. In it I talked about how I’d fallen over onto my hip that always had The Mystery Hip Pain (TMHP). TMHP had gone after some acupuncture appointments, but now it’s back and  I’m faced with a dilemma – do I ask for more acupuncture?

It might sound like a no-brainer. It seems like the obvious thing to do, doesn’t it? Let’s nip it in the bud now and then we can all move on. I know that it makes perfect sense. I just feel so guilty about it.

It’s only been a couple of months since I was actually discharged. And yes, I know my acupuncturist told me to ask for a referral before things got really bad, but it’s just so soon after the last lot. If I go back now I’ll feel like I’m being greedy and taking more than my fair share of appointments – especially as I get them on the NHS.

But then I know that they’ll be a waiting list and God knows how long my name will be on that  before I actually find myself back at the hospital getting needles stuck in me again. It could be weeks or it could be months. Who knows what  TMHP will be like by then?

The problem is that I know I’ll feel psychologically a lot better about it if I hag on another month, even if that might make me feel physically worse. I know what I should do, but I also know what I wanted to do, too.