Tag: disability

Taking some rest

Those of you who’ve been reading this blog a while will know that I find it hard to listen to my body and rest. A lot of the time I know I need to take a break but I choose not to and end up making myself worse. Well, dare I say it, but I think I’m finally learning.

A couple of days ago I told you all that I’d just got back from a mini break to Edinburgh, which was great fun (especially as I’d never been before), but involved far more walking, (and far more hills), than I’m used to. As a result I’ve had quite a few ‘bad CP days’ in a row. When I got back on Saturday night, moving my legs was a real effort and it felt like they could barely take my weight anymore.

On Sunday, walking up and down the steps in my house left me exhausted but I started to feel a lot better after a hot bath, and I thought things would be better the day after, which was Monday. However, I woke up still aching pretty much everywhere, including in my neck, back and shoulders, and it took me a long time to summon up the energy to get out of bed and into the shower.

Today is Tuesday, and I’m not entirely better yet either. My writing group meets on Tuesday mornings and I always look forward to going and I try not to skip it if I can help it, but I did miss today’s meeting. I woke up even more tired than when I went to sleep, and my legs still felt really stiff. Thankfully today my neck, back and shoulders seem to have stopped hurting, but I’m still so sleepy that I feel like a zombie and my legs still aren’t very happy with me.

I got up to start getting ready to leave the house but the only thing I could think was “I need to heat up some wheatbags and go back to bed”. I tried to ignore it and started to boil the kettle for a cup of tea when I realised that I didn’t want to wait around for it to finish, let alone stay up long enough to drink a cup of tea. That was the point at which I knew today would be a lazy day. I heated up some wheatbags, went back to bed and slept for about another three hours.

I feel a bit better now. I’m nowhere near as tired and I’m not quite so stiff either. Maybe things will be better tomorrow.

How do you cope on your ‘bad days’?

More thoughts on accepting help

Today’s post is inspired by Nora, who also blogs, because she asked me if I would do a post about accepting help even when I don’t want it.

First of all, I’d like to say that I think NEEDING help and WANTING help are two different things. I don’t always want to ask for help, but I do because it is sometimes the safest, (and also sometimes the only), way of getting things done. That’s okay. Everybody needs help sometimes. I think that’s part of being human, but that doesn’t mean that I always find it an easy thing to admit.

It took me a long time to accept that we are all interdependent. When I was a teenager I also thought that one day I would be independent. Lots of people over the years always made a point of telling me that my parents won’t be around forever. That always annoyed me. Of course I know they won’t be around forever, nor will I, but it always makes me feel guilty that I need help, even today.

While I like to think that I’ve reached a stage where I’m sensible enough to ask someone to lend me a hand when I need it, there are times I find myself thinking that it would be nice not to need it. For example, if I want a bath, I have to ask my mum o my boyfriend to lift me in and out. I don’t want them to do it, but I need them to because I can’t do it myself and it would be dangerous if I tried.

Sometimes it gets me down that I can’t just go for a soak whenever I feel like it, but then I have to remind myself how lucky I am to be able to do all the things I can do already. I used to be ashamed that it made me sad, but I’m slowly starting to learn that everyone feels sad sometimes and that’s also normal.

Learning that it’s okay to ask for help once you’ve done the best you can for yourself was one of the hardest but most important things I’ve ever had to learn.

Quiet Time

Things have been a bit quite around here lately, sorry about that. My mum’s wedding is getting closer and closer so I’ve been busy helping out on that score as much as I can. Sorry for my silence, but I’m hoping it will all be worth it in the end. There have been a couple of things happening in my life lately that I want to tell you all about quickly now, and then I’ll go into more details when I have more time.

 

I’ve had my splint adjusted

Some of you may remember I’ve been having some problems with my left splint still rubbing me. My orthotist sent it  away to be adjusted to see if that would help. I’ve been given it back now and I just have to try it. I’m sat wearing it now and it feels quite comfortable. It’s still a bit sore when I walk in it, but like new shoes, you have to try bed them in a little  bit. if it’s no better in a couple of weeks I’ll go back to my orthotist, but for now I’ll just have to wait and see.
I’ve just found some velcro shoes

Needless to say, I’m very happy about  this because I can’t  tie my own shoelaces. I can do them when I’m not wearing the shoe, but I can’t manage it  when the shoes are on my feet quite yet. I’ll get  there one day, I’m sure.

I’m starting to feel achy again

I go through phases where my muscles feel more achy and stiff than for a few days or weeks, and then they will go back to feeling the same as they usually do which I can handle without any problems. I’ve been feeling it  a bit more than normal for the last few days, bu I’m hoping I can stop it from getting too bad.