I have a couple of bits of news to share with you in today’s post.
The first is that this blog (finally) has its own email address, so feel free to contact me at viewfromawalkingframe@hotmail.com
The second piece is that I’ve decided that I’d like to include some guest posts on here, because I think they can be a great way of introudcing people to some great new blogs and I’ve always had loads of fun writing guest posts in the past.
If you’re interested send me an email: viewfromawalkingframe@hotmail.com, leave a message on the blog’s Facebook page, or get in touch with me on Twitter @NicolaG01
What can I say, I seem to be on a roll when it comes to finding new attire for my feet.
It was only just last week that I was over the moon about finding two pairs of suitable shoes in one go, and I’ve hardly stopped doing the Happy Dance since!
Not only have I started to make progress at being able to tie my own laces, but I’ve managed to bag myself a wonderful pair of sandals for my mum’s upcoming wedding too. I know, I know, I already found a pair a few months ago but these ones are even nicer. Want to know why?
BECAUSE THEY HAVE A TINY HEEL ON THEM! (I’m using caps because I’m really excited, not because I’m shouting at you all, I promise.)
My first pair of heels
The thing is, I’ve never had shoes with a heel on, as my mum put it – they are my first pair of ”clippy-cloppys’- and to say I’m pleased is an understatement. When I tried them on I didn’t think I’d be able to walk in them at all, even though the heel is only an inch ( maybe smaller), but I could and I actually felt quite steady on my feet.
I showed my dad them as well the other day and he was really pleased for me too.
The pair I bought a while back will probably still be used at some point on the wedding day because they’re flat, and mum bought me a new pair of slippers in case both make my feet hurt, so I have lots of options.
Today’s post is full of exciting news that I can’t wait to tell you all.
Not only did I managed to go shoe shopping and come home with not one, but two pairs of shoes, I’ve also managed to make some progress with tying shoelaces.
Months ago on this blog, I set myself the challenge of finally mastering it, something that I haven’t been able to do yet. I’ve found it quite frustrating over the years and it’s also made the already difficult task of finding shoes even harder.
Earlier this year I set myself a challenge finally managed to be able to tie my hair back into a ponytail, and when a good friend of mine suggested I do the same with laces, I agreed. My friend Leanne has helped me try and do this in the past, but I never quite managed it. She once spent our school lunch break letting me try and tie her shoes to no avail. I was doubtful that I’d ever be able to rise to her new shoelace challenge but I wanted to try. Months went by and nothing happened. Until last weekend.
It just so happens that both pairs of my new shoes have laces and Leanne came over to my house on the day I bought them. Once again she devoted pretty much the entire evening to helping me get the hang of fastening them. She was just as determined as me that I’d succeed and wouldn’t let me give up when I felt like throwing my new footwear in the bin and never looking at them again.
After lots of frustration, even more pizza and the odd glass of vodka and orange, I managed to tie some laces in a knot around my leg. This was a massive achievement that took me by surprise. I think everyone else knew I get the hang of it eventually (my family got in on the action to help me too) and were really pleased when I ran downstairs to show them what I’d done:
Baby Steps
I went to sleep that night feeling quite good about myself. I started to think that maybe it might be possible after all, but I was still amazed the morning after when I managed to do this:
Getting closer
I know there’s still a long way to go and that tying them while the shoes are on my feet will be a whole new challenge, but I’m happy with this for now.
All those who think it’s time I got some new shoes raise your hand and say ‘I’.
All of you? Yup, I thought so
I think it’s fair to say that I can’t put of the dreaded shoe shopping any longer. People who’ve been reading this blog a while will know that I find looking for new footwear really unpleasant. It’s hard to find something that is suitable and that I feel comfortable walking in.
It’s frustrating, often makes me feel quite stressed, and sometimes a little bit sad when I see loads of pretty pairs that I simply wouldn’t be able to wear.
Nonetheless, my mum has agreed to come along for the ride with me so hopefully it won’t be too bad.
Let me kick this post off by saying that I know I am probably the least qualified person to be writing this – I’m not a parent, and I’ll be totally honest and say that, at present, I have no desire to be. I know this might change for me in future and if it does then that’s okay, but for now I think I’m far happier with the idea of getting to be the family friend that buys all the noisy, messy toys at Christmas. But anyway, I digress.
I’ve been toying with the idea or writing this post for a while, but I didn’t want to offend any parents by writing an ‘advice’ post when I can’t even imagine what it’s like to be in their position. I’m also not a medical professional; I’m just your average 23 year-old who happens to have Cerebral Palsy herself. I know that no two people are ever the same, and so CP effects people differently so this isn’t going to be a post about therapy or anything like that. I wanted it to be something that I hoped would lift your spirits on a bad day, even though I’m still not sure that I’d be capable of doing that. But I still couldn’t shake the feeling that I wanted to write this post. So, I did what I usually do when I find myself in a dilemma, and talked to my Mum. She told me to just to go for it. So without further adieu, here is my list of advice for parents of kids with Cerebral Palsy, in no particular order:
Never underestimate your child
Never, ever underestimate what your child can and might be able to do one day, because, I promise you they will defy expectations every single day. It might not be yours that they defy every day, but they will astound someone somewhere at least once a day.
I know it’s hard – this part is still hard for me too – but if someone comes up to you in the street and tells you “aw, isn’t your child doing well,” please try and take this as a compliment rather than as them saying this because they don’t know what else to say. They’re most probably saying it because they mean it and they applaud the efforts that you and your child are putting in to be able to do whatever it is that they are doing well. Believe me there’ll be enough people waiting to criticise you, or tell you what they think you should be doing, so please take the compliments of others as a victory whenever they come around.
Never underestimate how much you have helped your child –even though I’m not sure you’ll ever appreciate how much you have
I am always the first person to stand up and say that I would not be where I am today if it was not for the unconditional love and support of my mum and dad. Where others have doubted me or written me off on occasion, they haven’t. And I love them for it. They helped me so much and they know that. They remember all the things they did to help me that I’m too young to recall. I’m old enough now understand just how much that means to me on a personal level, and I’m not sure my folks will ever be able to comprehend even if I try to explain it. They are the ones that helped me discover my fighting streak and lit the fire in my belly that means I want to keep pushing and never give up. I want to keep fighting their good fight, and it’s because they fought so hard in the first place that makes me want to continue.
You are not alone
You are not alone. You do not have to go through this alone. There will be people out there who want to try and understand. Your family, friends, medical professionals. They will want to join you and help you and your child. It can be easy to feel like you’re alone, but these people are out there somewhere. You just have to work out who they are and let them in. Please let them in.
It’s okay to take time for yourself
Please don’t ever feel guilty about wanting a little me time now and then to rest and recharge. The first time I remember my mum going away for a weekend with some of her friends, my dad and I had a wonderful time. He made sure that I had so much fun and tried to keep my mind off missing my mum as much as he could. He took my for my first ever cinema trip, it was to see Disney’s Pocahontas, and we put up the Christmas decorations as a surprise for my mum when she got home.
It’s okay to be sad
When I was younger I used to think that I couldn’t be sad about the things that I couldn’t do because that was just something I had to accept about my CP. I used to think I wasn’t allowed to be sad that I couldn’t go ice skating with my friends or climb trees, but as I got a bit older I realised it was okay to be sad sometimes, it was okay to cry sometimes, as long as I turned that into motivation to keep going and try to learn to do more things.
I’ve said over and over again that I consider myself to be lucky, and I know that I am. I don’t hate my disability; in fact I think it’s had a positive impact on my life in a lot of ways. I still get frustrated sometimes when something doesn’t come easily, and then I often feel like I’ve let myself down for feeling that way. But, I’m only human so I know that this is okay. I just use these emotions as drive to keep going when I feel like it’s all getting a bit much.
Never, ever give up
Enough said.
It might not feel like it right now, but together you can achieve great things
viewfromawalkingframe 