Hi guys,
I’m back with a brand new vlog. Thanks to everyone who watched the last one. Today I talk about how I feel when I look in the mirror and notice how my Cerebral Palsy impacts on the way I hold myself.
Author: Nicola Golding
My name is Nic, I'm 26 and just happen to have Cerebral Palsy that I've had since birth. It mostly impacts on my legs and my left arm and so I use a walking frame. When I'm not blogging I can usually be found making YouTube videos, reading or trying to write a novel.
What a difference a week makes
You may remember that I spent most of last week’s post talking about the pain that I’ve been having in my left hip for a while now. I knew that I had to take a lot of the blame for this because I haven’t been keeping up with my physio or wearing my night splints as often as I should.
Well, what a difference a week can make.
I’ve put a lot more effort in, especially over the last seven days and it seems to be paying off for me. I’ve been spending more time sitting in positions like long sitting and sitting cross-legged to help give my muscles a good stretch, I’ve been trying to massage my hip myself. I’ve made a real effort to wear my night splints more too.
To ease myself back into having them back on again, I started out just wearing them for a couple of hours during the day while I was resting and reading or watching TV, and then I spend the whole night in them last night. I had the best night’s sleep I’ve had for a while and I woke up feeling the benefits of both that and my muscles having had a good stretch. I’ve noticed that my ankles have been feeling a lot less tight over the last couple of days too so I’m already feeling the improvement. This is one of the best forms of motivation for me.
My hip still aches a little bit, but it’s better than it was. Let’s hope I’m on the right track now.
Fun Fact Friday [6]
Hello and welcome to Fun Fact Friday, a place where I share facts about myself that aren’t linked to my Cerebral Palsy.
I’m really excited to share this week’s fun fact with you all. It’s been really hard not to already post it all over the Facebook page and my Twitter account, but now I can finally tell you all.
For the last 10 months or so I have been working away on a novel; a superntural detective story, and I am no really pleased to say that the first draft is complete and I’ve now started on the editing process. I’m finding it both scary and fun!
I’d love to publish it one day but I know that it’s not ready for that yet.
Time for a reality check, again
As much as I hate to say this, I think it’s time that I sat myself down and gave myself a good talking to.
My left hip kept bothering me again last night, and my left ankle has been feeling tighter than usual for a few weeks now. I know that this i partly my own fault. Because of my Cerebral Palsy I have aches and pains every day. Most of the time, they don’t bother me too much, but every so often they get more severe for various reasons. The fact that I haven’t been keeping up with my physio as much as I should. or wearing my night splints as often as I’m supposed to lately definitely doesn’t help. I know that.
The thing is, when the pains get worse and I notice that my muscles are feeling stiffer than normal it upsets me, and I spend the first couple of weeks of the process telling myself that it will pass on it’s own and bury my head in the sand. It’s never easy for me to admit that I’ve been letting myself down by not doing the things I need to do to keep myself as mobile and pain free as possible. I know it sounds like something I should do readily and without question, but when I consider the fact that I have CP to be such a small part of who I am as a person, doing all the physio and the stretches isn’t always at the forefront of my mind. Not until the pain hits, anyway.
Then, when I do notice that I’ve started to let things go and the impact that it’s having on me; it hurts. Not just physically but emotionally too. It’s a reminder that there will be times when my disability has a larger impact on my life and my body than I would like, and that I will always have to work to keep them at bay as much as possible.
When I was little doing lots of work on standing up straight, my family would tell me that I had to work really hard at pushing my knees back because that would help me push any operations back that I might need when I was older, for as long as long as possible. I knew lots of people with Cerebral Palsy who were having them or had already had some and I didn’t want to have any if I could help it. When I notice things tightening up or hurting more I’m reminded that I’ll never be able to stop that big push.
I know as I get older there are things that I can do now that I won’t be able to in the future, that happens to everyone, disability or, not, I know that. However, on days like today I’m all too aware that it could happen faster and sooner than I would like if I’m not careful. It could even happen without me really noticing if I don’t pay enough attention to my physio, and that is hardest thing to deal with of them all.
All I can say is, that I am Nic, and yes I have CP, and I may not always push a hard as I can, but I will not give up entirely. Not now, and hopefully not ever.
Let’s talk about sleep
It’s currently 4:24 AM as I’m sitting typing this but it won’t be by the time you get to read it. I’m having one of those nights where I can’t sleep because there’s a nagging ache in my left hip that won’t go away. This has been happening quite a lot over the last couple of months and I’m not sure why. I’ve been meaning to mention it to my physio but it always seems to stop around the time of my appointments so I always forget. I must remember next time.
I’ve been awake for ages now and I’ve tried laying in all different positions and do as many different stretches as I can think of but it won’t budge. It never does. I just have to wait until I get so tired that I fall asleep anyway.
It’s not all bad though. I’m not kept from sleep by aches and pains very often, (hardly ever until this one started showing up) so I can’t really complain. And I’ve already had a few hours shut-eye tonight.
It’s now 4:36 and I’m rambling. I can barely keep my eyes open and I’m sure this post will be full of typos when I check it again later. I’m going to go back to bed now.
Sweet dreams, everyone.
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