Trying not to think too big

Hello everyone and happy New Year. I hope your 2017 has got off to a great start and continues to be good to you.

Even though it has been fun, I am quite glad that all of the festivities are over. Christmas was busy, New Year was busy. My birthday was busy. Life has been busy. But now things can finally get back to normal, which all sounds great, except that I don’t really know what my normal was/is in the first place.

This time of year is hard for me. Everywhere I turn there are people talking about all the great things that they’ve achieved in year gone by, and what they’re hoping to achieve in the one ahead, and how they’re going to get there, and that’s great. Go all of you. I wish you luck.

Yet, it’s impossible to deny that my life has stalled since I graduated university back in 2012. The career I wanted, and still want to have, hasn’t taken off in the way that I would’ve liked which has lead to me still living at home, and that is not where I thought I’d be by the time I turned 26. I have yet to actually manage to get any of my writing published. I do feel like I’m making progress in all of these things though so that’s something. However, this year I have decided that I am not going to set myself any big goals because all that has done in the past is make me miserable and stressed. This year I want to be all about smaller goals, like, maybe not getting my novel draft to an agent, but to get a couple of short stories or poems to a point where I think they might be good enough to send off to competitions. I want to be able to writer shorter to-do lists, rather than making them overly long on purpose because I have a tendency to feel worthless if I’m not being productive enough.

Although last year was a pretty good one for me, it was a bad one for my mental health. I had a couple of massive slumps, and am currently still in one of I’m honest about it. I’m back in CBT therapy and that’s okay.  2017 may not be the year that my career takes off, writing or otherwise, but I would like it to be the year I start to stop thinking so big, and start to allow myself to feel better.

I hope you have a good one,

Nic xx






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