Sometimes I think I underestimate just how easy it is for me to start feeling unbalanced and start to wobble. I come close to falling over quite often, sometimes I catch myself in time, sometimes I don’t. Often I’ll feel myself becoming unsteady and know exactly what’s happened to cause it, but occasionally there seems to be no reason at all. People I’m with will ask “What happened there?” and all I’ll be able to do is shrug my shoulders, say “I have no idea” and then give a nervous laugh. I always get nervous when I think I’m about to fall, but I don’t think that’s really surprising.
There are also plenty of instances when I know what made me start to wobble, and I’ll be amazed at what a simple thing it was. The other day I was leaning against the kitchen worktop, using both hands to butter some crackers; one of the broke in half when I wasn’t expecting it. The surprise of it cracking in my hand was even to make me jump and start to tip over backwards. Luckily I managed to reach out and grab the counter in time to steady myself. It was a good job too because if I had gone over, there’s a good chance I would have hit the oven. It wasn’t on at the time, but it still wouldn’t have been pleasant.
After I felt stable again and I stopped feeling nervous I realised that I was surprised that something so simple was enough to throw me off. It’s not the first time a crumbling cracker has made me wobble either (I eat rather a lot of them), but I’m always shocked when it does.
I try not to think about all the things that could have happened when I manage to avoid crashing to the ground, or how much worse it could have been when I do take a tumble. I just try my best to be as careful as I can.