A ball of anxiety

I often find my anxiety is worse at night. It often kicks in just as I’m about to go to sleep.

Take now for example.  It’s about 12.30am on Sunday morning and I spent most of Saturday wandering around in a fog of tiredness with the worst neck ache I’ve had for a long time . I’ve spent most of the day counting down the minutes to bed time. Sleep should be easy but it won’t be.

The second I crawled under the duvet my brain started buzzing with anxious thoughts about all sorts of things like what I’m going to post on here this week,  the videos I need to edit and the fact I haven’t done any writing for a while.

Then of course I got anxious about the fact that I’m too anxious to sleep.

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The girl’s a night owl

I’m writing this post late at night. It’s 23:28 on Tuesday evening and I’d do all my writing at this time of day (night, whatever) if I could.

I’ve turned off the big light and my lamp is giving me just enough light to see my keyboard. There’s soft music playing in my headphones and I’m nice and warm and in those early stages of tiredness where you’re starting to wind down but are still alert enough to do stuff.

I don’t think I’ve ever liked mornings. I never quite know how stiff or achy I’m going to be when I wake up, or how long it’s going to take me to be able to do things.

Continue reading “The girl’s a night owl”