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Pain in my dreams

I think I’ve mentioned before that I don’t often have cerebral palsy in my dreams.  I’m usually able-bodied. It’s quite handy really,  given that I often dream about being chased by less than Friendly people.

Last night was different though.  My CP was the focal point of my dream.  In it I was feeling all the new and unpleasant pains I’ve been having under my big scars on my hips,  and the pain in the ball of my hip that’s been bothering me on and off for a couple of years now was also quite strong.  Probably because it did actually make it quite hard for me to get to sleep in the first place last night.

In the dream,  I was admitted to hospital and was having lots of x-rays and other tests done and getting very frustrated that no one seemed to be able to work out what was wrong or how to fix the problem.

It all felt so real.  The pain was the same as it always is in real life.  The hospital in my dream looked a lot like the one I go to.

At the time I don’t think I knew it waa a dream but at least I knew it was as soon as I woke up.

More Botox and new walking frame update

I’m putting Fun Fact Friday on hold for another week so that I can update you all on yesterday’s hospital appointment. Honestly, I don’t think it could have come at a better time for me, with all the pain I’ve been having the last few weeks.

I met with my physio and my consultant, told them about the issues, and that my recurring, cause-unknown hip pain had returned again and is back to keeping me awake at night. I roll over constantly trying to get comfy but it takes hours. I feel really sorry for Rob because it makes it hard for him to get any sleep too.

They decided to prescribe  me some stronger painkillers for when I need them, and they’re going to arrange for me to have some acupuncture. I’ve never tried that before but I know people who’ve had it and say they’ve had great results. I’d love to know if you guys have had any and how you found it.

I had some Botox injections in both legs too; in both my hamstrings and in another muscle that I don’t have a clue how to spell. Sorry. My physio tried a new technique when she was injecting the muscle I can’t spell so she’s interested to see if that makes a difference.

Oh, and apparently I should finally have my new walking frame soon. Apparently it’s at the hospital, they’re just waiting for the right department to build it up now.

Pain Update

There’s no denying that November was possibly one of the toughest months I’ve ever faced on a cerebral palsy level. Everything hurt and getting on top of the pain was tough. I had to cancel meetings with friends which is something that I hate doing.

However, over the last couple of days things have slowly been starting to get back to my level of normal. Normal is good. I can deal with normal.

I’m not sure what happened to make things start to settle down. Maybe it’s because I stayed at my boyfriend’s flat for a couple of days and the chairs and the bed at his place are obviously different from the ones I have at home so it meant I was sitting and laying in completely different positions.

I’m starting to get some sleep again. Sleep is good too.

Last night, I slept in a bit of a strange position and woke up with a stiff neck, but I keep doing physio on it and heating up wheat bags so I’m hoping that will settle down in the next couple of hours.

I’m going to  take this as a good sign.

#sorrynotsorry

I’m taking a break from Fun Fact Friday to bring you what I hope you’ll agree is some good news…

I finally had a good CP day yesterday! It feels like it’s been so long since I’ve been able to say that. Oh god, it’s such a relief.

So, yesterday was relatively pain-free once I managed to use a wheat bag to get rid of the neck ache I woke up with at about eight o’clock in the morning.

Well Nic, I hear you ask, what did you do with your day? Did you take advantage of it?

Why yes, I did. I slept. I slept so hard to catch up on all the sleep I missed out on. And I’m not sorry. Not even one little bit

I rolled over and then when I looked at the clock again it was after 11. Then I got up, did some writing, had a nap, then met a friend in the evening and then came home and went back to bed.

Overall, I’d say I spent more time asleep yesterday than awake, and it felt amazing. I feel so much better. When I have three or four bad CP nights in a row I do start to wonder if I’ll ever get a good night’s sleep again, if I’m honest.

But I did.

What can I say? #sorrynotsorry

 

I don’t know what to do with myself

This is probably going to sound weird but just lately my body has been really getting on my nerves.

November has been a hectic month in terms of going NANOWRIMO again, trying to plan for Christmas, and trying to get lots of videos ready for my YouTube channel. Oh, and it seems to have been a really, really bad cerebral palsy month.

So far I’ve gone from having neck pain, to back pain, reverted back to having more neck pain, followed by more back pain, then a strange and unpleasant new pain in my hips, and now my legs are grumpy and my shoulder blades aren’t exactly my best friend right now either.

As soon as I get one top of one ache, another one takes its place. It’s like I’m playing a game of whack-a-mole that you get inn amusement arcades, only the machine has gone into overdrive and I’m not sure how to stop it.

I’m tired. I haven’t been sleeping well, even though I’ve been taking my Baclofen to try and keep the aches at bay long enough to get a good night’s sleep.

I’m emotionally drained too. Sometimes I think bad CP days take up more mental energy than physical. It’s like you’re constantly trying to keep moving so that you stay one step ahead of your own body.

It’s hard.

I feel like all my posts here lately have been really negative and I hate that.

Sorry guys. I’m just drained.

I don’t know what to do with myself.