Author: Nicola Golding

My name is Nic, I'm 26 and just happen to have Cerebral Palsy that I've had since birth. It mostly impacts on my legs and my left arm and so I use a walking frame. When I'm not blogging I can usually be found making YouTube videos, reading or trying to write a novel.

Taking some rest

Those of you who’ve been reading this blog a while will know that I find it hard to listen to my body and rest. A lot of the time I know I need to take a break but I choose not to and end up making myself worse. Well, dare I say it, but I think I’m finally learning.

A couple of days ago I told you all that I’d just got back from a mini break to Edinburgh, which was great fun (especially as I’d never been before), but involved far more walking, (and far more hills), than I’m used to. As a result I’ve had quite a few ‘bad CP days’ in a row. When I got back on Saturday night, moving my legs was a real effort and it felt like they could barely take my weight anymore.

On Sunday, walking up and down the steps in my house left me exhausted but I started to feel a lot better after a hot bath, and I thought things would be better the day after, which was Monday. However, I woke up still aching pretty much everywhere, including in my neck, back and shoulders, and it took me a long time to summon up the energy to get out of bed and into the shower.

Today is Tuesday, and I’m not entirely better yet either. My writing group meets on Tuesday mornings and I always look forward to going and I try not to skip it if I can help it, but I did miss today’s meeting. I woke up even more tired than when I went to sleep, and my legs still felt really stiff. Thankfully today my neck, back and shoulders seem to have stopped hurting, but I’m still so sleepy that I feel like a zombie and my legs still aren’t very happy with me.

I got up to start getting ready to leave the house but the only thing I could think was “I need to heat up some wheatbags and go back to bed”. I tried to ignore it and started to boil the kettle for a cup of tea when I realised that I didn’t want to wait around for it to finish, let alone stay up long enough to drink a cup of tea. That was the point at which I knew today would be a lazy day. I heated up some wheatbags, went back to bed and slept for about another three hours.

I feel a bit better now. I’m nowhere near as tired and I’m not quite so stiff either. Maybe things will be better tomorrow.

How do you cope on your ‘bad days’?

Oh My

Boy, oh boy do I ache today..

I’ve just got back from a mini break in Edinburgh. I’ve done loads more walking than I normally would do,

It was worth it and my friends and I had a lovely time, but now my legs and my shoulders, and just about everywhere else is crying out for a huge rest.

I’m trying to sit in as many different positions as I can to make sure I get plenty of stretching in, but I think I’m going to take it easy and have lots of tea and biscuits for a couple of days. 

 

More thoughts on accepting help

Today’s post is inspired by Nora, who also blogs, because she asked me if I would do a post about accepting help even when I don’t want it.

First of all, I’d like to say that I think NEEDING help and WANTING help are two different things. I don’t always want to ask for help, but I do because it is sometimes the safest, (and also sometimes the only), way of getting things done. That’s okay. Everybody needs help sometimes. I think that’s part of being human, but that doesn’t mean that I always find it an easy thing to admit.

It took me a long time to accept that we are all interdependent. When I was a teenager I also thought that one day I would be independent. Lots of people over the years always made a point of telling me that my parents won’t be around forever. That always annoyed me. Of course I know they won’t be around forever, nor will I, but it always makes me feel guilty that I need help, even today.

While I like to think that I’ve reached a stage where I’m sensible enough to ask someone to lend me a hand when I need it, there are times I find myself thinking that it would be nice not to need it. For example, if I want a bath, I have to ask my mum o my boyfriend to lift me in and out. I don’t want them to do it, but I need them to because I can’t do it myself and it would be dangerous if I tried.

Sometimes it gets me down that I can’t just go for a soak whenever I feel like it, but then I have to remind myself how lucky I am to be able to do all the things I can do already. I used to be ashamed that it made me sad, but I’m slowly starting to learn that everyone feels sad sometimes and that’s also normal.

Learning that it’s okay to ask for help once you’ve done the best you can for yourself was one of the hardest but most important things I’ve ever had to learn.

Fun Fact Friday [11]

Hello and welcome to Fun Fact Friday, a feature in which I share facts about myself that aren’t linked to my Cerebral Palsy.

Okay, okay, I’ll admit that it’s been ages since I’ve managed to write a Fun Fact Friday post. Sorry about that, but I’m sure you’ll all be pleased to know that my mum’s wedding was wonderful. Everyone had a lovely time, especially the bride and groom.

Anyway, on to this week’s fun fact.

I’ve recently discovered that I like peanut butter ice cream. I love peanut butter and I’m sure you all know by now that I love ice cream, but I thought putting the two of them together would be disgusting. I was very happy to be proven wrong.