Bittersweet memories

Before I had my surgery on my hips and legs a few years ago, I also used to get a lot of pain in my shoulders too. This was caused by my posture. They hurt every day and the bones would ‘crack’ all the time which wasn’t very nice either. Some nights I couldn’t lie on one side because it was too uncomfortable. It’s not something I’d care to go through again if I’m being truthful.

At the time, my knees had rotated inwards thanks to the way I stood, to the point where they practically faced each other rather than facing outwards, so I had operations in which they broke my hips and one of the bones in my legs and reset them to correct this. Then I had another operation to lengthen all the muscles in my legs.

I’m pleased to say that after that the pain in my shoulders stopped and they haven’t really bothered me all that much since. Well, not unless I have quite a long day pulling my walking frame Martha around or decide to bring home one too many books from the library, which I hang in a carrier bag that I put over the side of Martha so that I don’t have to carry them in my handbag and get backache. I was guilty of probably taking out a stack of heavy books yesterday actually, but thankfully my dad was on hand to give me lift home so it saved my shoulders a lot of work. Thanks Dad!

But there is another reason for me writing this post today besides confessing that I am a bookworm who is often guilty of checking out more books that she can comfortably carry sometimes. Please tell me some of you have done that too and that it’s not just me!

Sometime last week I was laying on my tummy, which I personally find is a way for me to get a good stretch, because my legs and back were quite achy that day. I moved my arm to put it in a more comfortable position and I could instantly I’d done something that my shoulder wasn’t happy about because it ‘cracked’ and started aching right away.

Thankfully, the achiness is starting to subside now, but having discomfort in my shoulders again has brought back memories of how I used to be in the days before I had my surgery.

Although it hasn’t been nice to think about how much my shoulders hurt, it’s been quite nice to take some time to reflect and think about how far I’ve come over the last few years, which I think is actually further than I realise most days and definitely further than I give myself credit for.

Let’s hope it continues!

12 thoughts on “Bittersweet memories

  1. 😦 sorry to hear you have had pain, have pain at various times. This is more food for thought for me. Although my daughter doesnt complain now, I worry for my little possum what the affects of posture etc might be later. She creaks and cracks and clicks etc now, but it doesn’t seem to worry her -she says she is used to it. When we did the intensive therapy course, the physios showed me some really great stretches for arms and shoulder muscles and we are always working to improve strength in trunk and shoulder girdle, wrists, hands etc. I have just started doing a clinical pilates course for me(to help my back mainly from lifting etc) and let me tell you, it has been a real eye opener – given me experience in uncoordinated muscles, the difficulty making muscles I haven’t used much work, and make them do something on command.Some of my muscles in my hip flexors, chest and back are shortened making some exercises difficult etc etc…….and then I think wow – and I had pretty good posture etc, whats it going to be for Miss M when she is older??? Can your physio give you some exercises to help your shoulder?


    1. When I was little I used to hate talking about when things ached or hurt because I thought it was somethig that I should just have to put up with. Now I’ve grown up a bit (in more ways than simply getting older) I don’t mind talking about it. I’ve finally started to understand that it’s okay to talk about aches and pains, especially to people who help me with my physio. There’s not a day that goes by when something doesn’t ache or I don’t feel some kind of discofmfort that I wouldn’t always describe as ‘pain’ if that makes sense. But like your daughter says, I’m used to it so I I don’t mind so much because to me it’s nothing unusual. Some days are worse than others and sometimes if things are quite bad I find it hard to sleep at night because it’s hard to find a comfy position, but I take each day as it comes.

      I hope you’re enjoying your pilates course and I hope it gets easier with practice. I sometimes wonder what things will be like for me when I’m older too, but I try and not worry about it too much. That’s easier said than done sometimes though!

      ‘m seeing my physio next week so I think I’m going to ask her.


  2. I get similar in my back, caused by my posture. That is down to the tightness in my hip flexors, and adductors which just (helpfully) happen to be really hard to stretch…. typical cp eh? I also notice tightness and achiness across my shoulders when I’m having a bad cp day, particularly in my left side which is my more affected side, and on those days my left arm often decides it’s going to do whatever it likes too….. sometimes I feel like my brain and limbs seem to be in some strange loveless relationship!!! 😀
    I get really clicky too!! sometimes I sound like a human bowl of rice crispies!!
    But hey, every cloud…. I just use those days as an excuse to sit around drinking tea!!!


    1. Oh I’m with you on the adductors thing!- there’s just no – nice and polite, shall we say, way to stretch them is there? Especially when you’re out in public. I tend to down ad do some arm and back streches when I’m out if I’m having a cup of tea with friends or something like that.

      My left side is my moe affected side too and I can totally understand what you mean about the relationship between your brain and limbs. I know exactly what I want my arms and legs to do, I can picture it in my head but some days they just don’t want to play along. This is also why I try to avoid catching sight of myself in a mirrior when I’m dancing. Or I manage to do it and then they’ll ache like mad later.

      Haha, I just hope it doesn’t hurt too much when you get clicky, although the idea of sounding like a human bowl of Rice Crispies made me laugh.

      I use those days as an excuse fpr a let’s take it easy tea day too! :).


  3. I have found a couple of easier ways to give my adductors a stretch, one is sitting with one leg over the side of the bed, that’s nice and easy but only gives a slight stretch, the other is using a peanut ball (also known as a physio roll) that I sit on like a horse.. that gives me a really good stretch, and I can also practice sitting up nice and straight, working my core muscles. it’s really comfy to sit on (once I get over the initial stretch) and it’s hands free physio (which I love!!) so I can sit reading or on my phone.

    The worst thing I find with my left side is when I’m typing and my left hand decides to hit the wrong key (caps lock instead of tab is a favourite when I’m in the office!) oh, and when I go to move and my upper body gets the message but my legs don’t!!!

    It doesn’t really hurt when I’m having a rice crispies day, I’m so used to it, and they tend to happen when I’m having a tight and achy day, quite often it’s more of a ‘tight, achy, rice crispies, uncoordinated day’!!! that equals ‘grumpy, stay in bed, drink tea try not to spill it, eat chocolate and ice cream, watch stuff on Netflix and read day’ where everyone knows to stay out of my way except my best friend, because I tend to be like a crocodile with toothache!!!! 😀


    1. I’ve never tried sittig with one leg over the side of the bed but knowing my luck I’d fall off trying to get into position. There was one time I was sat on my bed reading. I was sat cross legged which always makes my legs ache cause of the stretch so I have to give them a couple of mins to stop aching before I stand up and stuff. Plusthey get really grumpy with me for making sit crossed legged. I tried to uncross them and they just didn’t move so I fell forward head first off the bed with a huge bang. I went downstairs to tell everyone I was okay and no one had even noiced!

      A couple of people have mentioned peanut balls to me so I’m thinking I might talk to my physio about them next time I see her.

      That must be annoying. I bet it’s leads to some quite funny typos too. My feft hand is usually pretty well behaved when I’m typing. I type with both hands but I usualy only use one finger on my left hand though because the effort of tryng to use any more – and trying to get them to hit the keys I want -would probably slow me down by quite a bit. It must be really annoying when your legs don’t get the message. Does that lead to quite a lot of falls?

      I have days like that sometimes, but thankfully not that often. When I do though, I spend it doing all the things you mentioned, and only realy move to make trrips to the kettle and back :).


      1. It’s easier if you sit as close to the middle of the bed if you can – you get a better stretch that way, sometimes I do the same laying down when I’ve really tightened up, maybe that would be easier?
        Peanut balls are brilliant!! although my room does resemble a physio gym with all the stuff I have just for physio…. Another way I stretch my adductors and hamstrings at the same time is sit with both legs out straight (I wear my gaiters to keep them where I want them, and to get a better stretch) and get my legs as far apart as I can. I use weighted sandbags to keep them like that. Weighted sandbags are anther great thing to use for physio, a friend who is into yoga told me about them as I can use them almost like an extra pair of hands!!!

        It does lead to some funny typo’s especially when doing a facebook post and people think I’m shouting at them!!!! Although it also leads to some time consuming mistakes when I’m in the office and haven’t noticed what I’ve done and saved the details!!!!

        It does lead to a few falls when my legs don’t get the message!!! but hey, I’m kind of used to it, it does tend to freak other people out that don’t realise it happens a lot!!!


      2. I’ve used sand bags before for physio too and I always try and remember to sit with with my legs out straight and far apart too. I usually spend quite a long time long sitting when I’m reading and stuff like that..


  4. Wow! Nic, have I mentioned that as a Mum, I LOVE your blog (I think I might have once or twice! Reading your story and the comments of others really helps me to understand things that might daughter cant yet/doesn’t tell me, awareness of the kind of things that may lay ahead, and just gives some useful insight. I also liked the description of a human bowl of rice crispies…..and definitely some days are worse than others. It makes me cringe hearing my daughter creak and grown (like someone cracking their knuckles)….but she just laughs at me 🙂


    1. Thanks for the comments Angela! I’m really glad that you find the blog insightful. It’s one of the main reasons I write it so it’s really nice to hear that other people are getting something from it! I love it when others comment and share their stories too. I’d like to think that people can learn or relate to each other and know that their not alone. If just one person takes those things from my blog then it makes it all worthwhile so thank so much for your comment.

      I hate listening to other people creak and groan too Maybe be a good thing that your daughter laughs when you cringe? If you don’t mind me saying it sounds to me like she might be looking on the brightside. .


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