Today I have some exciting news for you all. Well, it makes me really happy, I’m not so sure about the rest of you, but I’m feeling really quite proud of my little self.
Those of you who’ve been following the blog for a while now will know that I used to have a lot of fears about taking my walking frame Martha on the bus by myself, because of access issues with getting on and off them, the amount of space she takes up while I’m on there, and my worries that there wouldn’t be enough room for her later on in the journey.
This had been a problem for me for a very long time and I was often too afraid to take the plunge to go in alone without an help because, let’s just say I’ve come across a few people being quite rude and being really quite unhelpful even I’ve had someone there with me. Thing is, I’m 22 now and I knew I had to shape up try face this sometime. So I did. It wasn’t easy. In fact, I found it really stressful. Sometimes I’d have to try really hard not to cry out of fear and relief at different times.
My mum would always ride the bus with me when I was going into town to meet my friends, then walk home again, only to walk back to town to pick me up again and take the bus home with me. As much as I appreciated her doing this, it wasn’t fair and I knew it had to stop.
Slowly, I began to feel more at ease if I timed my journeys so that they were evening ones, when the transport is quieter, but after doing I didn’t feel quite so uneasy, got excited and wrote a post about it telling you all I thought that I was maybe making some progress.
Fast-forward a couple of months and I honestly can’t remember the last time that anyone got the bus with me unless they just so happen to be heading in the same direction! I know now that if the bus gets too busy while I’m halfway through the journey I can just get off and wait for the next one if they’re regular enough and it doesn’t bother me now. Mum still walks me as far as the bus stop near my house, and meets me at it when I get back off, but I’m not going to turn having company to walk home with.
In fact, I was on a bus just yesterday and someone I’ve noticed a few times asked me if I was by myself. Not in a rude way, but in a pleasantly surprised one. I don’t know if it’s because this person recognised me too but had only ever seen me with someone else. A small, self-centred, part of me hoped that this was true and that they were, in a way, recognising my achievement without really realising.
I’d still rather take the train given the chance, but if you had told me at the start of the year that I’d feel so relaxed about buses I’d probably have laughed and said “not likely”.
This accomplishment may seem small, but I have surprised myself and managed something that I’d begun to doubt I ever could.
With that, I am happy.