I just couldn’t go any faster

Yesterday was weird. It was weird for so many reasons, but rather than go into all the reasons why here I’m just going to talk about it from a cerebral palsy point of view. And yes, I am aware that the idea of having a ‘weird’ CP day, (as opposed to, ya’know, a bad one), is a pretty weird thing in itself.

Annnnywaaay,

Long story short yesterday involved quite a bit more walking than I’ve probably had to do in a while. I don’t feel like I’ve done anywhere near enough of the stuff lately, which is a whole other blog post in itself.

In truth, it was nowhere the most walking I’ve done in a day, and it didn’t even make me that tired (score!) but at the end of the end I wanted to walk quickly to so that I could catch my bus without having to wait a whole hour for the next one.

Well, I tried to up my pace, but I just couldn’t.

I felt like I was doing all the right things to speed up, but my legs just would not go any faster no matter what I did. Now, don’t get me wrong, moving fast under any circumstances other than a spider landing on my head just doesn’t happen when you’re me. I know that I walk really slowly compared to the average able-bodied person, but I can push myself to go a bit beyond my natural pace when I want to.

Yes, I had done a lot of walking, but I hadn’t pushed myself that hard. I’d taken it slowly, on purpose. I felt tired in a way that I could do with a nap, but not in a my-legs-might-just-be-about to drop off way.

I’m not sure what was going on. Have any of you felt anything like this before? I don’t know if it’s because my fitness levels have dropped, or because my bag was really, really heavy. Maybe it’s just because I’m getting older. I just don’t know. I’m trying not to worry about this too much. If anything, I need to use it as motivation to get more exercise.

On a more light-hearted note, I made a video the other day at 5am when I couldn’t sleep. Some of you might enjoy it as it’s about writing, some of you might not. Either way, I’ll leave it here it case you want to watch it:

 

Thanks for listening,

Nic xx

 

Three years of blogging!

Can you believe it’s been three whole years since I decided to take the plunge and hit publish on my first post for View From a Walking Frame? I’ll be honest and say that it some ways it feels like it’s been three very long years and in others in feels like it’s only been a couple of months. Yet here I am still typing away and here you are still reading.
I’ve changed a lot in these last few years, both as a person with cerebral palsy, and as a person in general when you don’t take my CP into account at all. In my life as a person with a disability, I’ve noticed that I’m having more and more bad days, and that I’ve been trying more and more things to help ease said bad days with varying degrees of success. I’ve extended this blog and now I’m a vlogger on YouTube as well.

I decided to open up to all of you about my mental health and talk about my anxiety and low moods. Sometimes I think I talk about that more than I talk about my cerebral palsy, but you’re all lovely and none of you seem to mind. These things especially have dragged me through the ringer quite a bit over the last couple of years, and this blog is always here to help me deal with that and so are you guys.

I like to think I’ve posted on this blog fairly consistently over the years, even if I have had the odd quiet patch. Having a quiet patch used to make me feel guilty, which would make me feel anxious and down, but I’m slowly starting to accept that it’s okay to write less sometimes. This blog will always be here when I feel like  I have something to say or like I need some extra support.

Seriously, knowing that guys are out there has helped me get through some pretty low times, so thank you. I only hope I do the same for you in some way, no matter how small.

So, who’s up for a similar kind of post this time again next year? I know I am.

Love,

Nic xx
 

Taking time for the little things

This week I’ve actually made some time to get on with all those little things that I’ve been meaning to do for weeks. They aren’t all things that are all that important to the ebb and flow of everyday life, but I think they’ll all come together to make me feel better within myself.

Sometimes I don’t think I talk enough about the ebb and flow of my everyday life away from my cerebral palsy enough on this blog. It’s not all that interesting, but I’m feeling in quite a positive place right now, so I thought I’d talk about it.

Going to the doctors

I finally went to the doctors because I’ve had a cough for about a month. It took me so long to go because I didn’t want to waste their time if they were going to tell me it was just a cough that could go away on its own. However, four weeks or so down the line and it didn’t seem to be improving. Obviously, the practice nurse I saw was lovely and gave me some antibiotics just help it on its way.

She didn’t make me feel like I was wasting her time at all, which was a relief.

Sorting my hair out

I have finally, finally, finally booked myself in for an appointment at the hairdressers. I think I’ve actually been meaning to do this since the end of November or early December, but life happened. Now the situation is getting pretty desperate and my fringe is taking over half of my face to the point where my mum keeps saying that if I don’t get it cut soon she’s going to take the kitchen scissors to it herself.

I’m scheduled to go next week and I can’t wait to not have my hair in my eyes anymore. I’m not sure what I’ll have done. Probably just a good trim.

Buying printer ink

Since the start of the year, I’ve been working on a massive edit for one of my bigger, longer-running writing projects. I’ve been printing lots of pages so I can edit them on a hard copy. It also happens that the ink lights on my printer have been flashing at me for the last couple of weeks, but like Penny and her ‘check engine light’ on The Big Bang Theory, I’ve been ignoring it and hoping for the best. I finally bought some more yesterday. I haven’t actually changed the cartridges yet because I think I’m going to wait for them to totally run out first, but, y’know, when they do, at least I’ll be ready now.

Edited my CV

I spent some time last year doing freelance work, so I stopped actually looking for full time employment while that was going on. Now though, I’ve finally got my CV up-to-date and started applying for more things. Getting to interviews by myself in the cold, icy weather can be a bit of a challenge, but I’ll worry about that if I actually get any interviews!

 

I still have lots of other stuff that I need to do, like phone wheelchair services to ask them if I can new seat belt for my wheelchair because mine’s getting a bit worse for wear, and I have birthday presents, cards and wrapping paper that I need to buy at some point this week.

I think I’m making good progress though, if I do say so myself.

 

 

Thinking out loud

One of the things I love the most about this blog is that it gives me a place to come and think.

Okay, so I’ll admit that it’s a pretty public way to come and think and organise thoughts I’m having, but I like it. This is another one of those posts that I’m writing in the middle of the night, long after I was hoping to be asleep. Yet, here I am, typing away.

Truth is, I’m been lying awake in bed for the past hour thinking about this blog, about what content I’m going to post next week, and about whether or not you guys like the stuff I’ve put up recently. I’ve been struggling a lot lately with just how much I should talk about my YouTube channel on here. When I started that, I thought I’d mostly just post videos that were an extension of my blog, that focused mostly on disability and my life with Cerebral Palsy, but it’s become more than that.

Continue reading “Thinking out loud”